Hello Sailor!

I suppose it had to happen, a bit like finding among the infinite number of monkeys the one who can recite the works of Shakespeare. But today I achieved a first in my long career as an itinerant Consultant today.

In our office there are two consultancy teams. Mine is dealing with – yes – sewers and industrial effluents. Yes, I know how to live. The other one is doing a rather more acceptable task - town planning - but they were hamstrung by their Team Leader’s absence through delays in getting a flight from the UK because of the bad weather there.

So when he came this morning I uttered the normal words of sympathy that one would on this occasion.

“Yes” he said “bloody bad time. Just couldn’t get up the A3 to Heathrow”

Oh yes? I thought. From where? This needed a bit more careful interrogation. So I changed the subject to football and we discussed the Arsenal – Everton game the previous evening that we had both watched on TV.

“Arsenal are a great team when you give them room and Everton gave them none. We gave them all the room they wanted and they took us apart”

“Oh yes? Where was that?”

“Fratton Park”

SKATE ALERT!

So I did the only thing that was possible under the circumstances and called him a Pompey scummer, explained my own allegiance, was in turn insulted and like British Consultants everywhere got on and did our job, pausing only two or three times during the day to swap cheery insults.

And it will go on.